~mOus!e~

Disappointment.........

2010-03-02T21:57:00.004+08:00

Disappointment is what i am having now. After being through many probs, this is what i get in returned. You just don't understand what i want. Well, i do think that you don't even know what i want. Most important is that, you doesn't seen it as a prob. No matter how hard i tried to explain it, you have yet to get it. Why??? This is the question that keep popping out from my mine. I have try my very best to coop with you, tolerate you and follow you. I do not know how long i have been doing this and seriously i do not know how long i can do this anymore. But one thing for sure if that day come, it will gonna be a very BAD day for both of us. I pray hard to You Lord, please don't let this happen. Please!!! At least, not at this moment. Not now.....

Down ......

2009-10-21T22:04:00.003+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

I seriously really really down since yesterday. You know what is going on ...... You know the reason for this ..... You know how I really felt right now ..... And most important of all, You have the way to solved it ....

And, I can only for pray hard for it ...... Coz, You are the only one that I can count on now. You are the only place that I can seek for advised. You are the only comfort that I have right now. And most important of all, You are there for me.

Heavenly Father,

You are the best that I am having now. No one like You, that will consoled me for this point of time. No one like You, that will shed my tears away. I need a place to hide away from the world. I need You - Heavenly Father.

I had no one to talk to ..... I am seeking for advised ...... I need love to shower upon me .....

All this, I can only get it from You - Heavenly Father.

For You are the only one I have right now. For You are the only one Who will never abandon me for who I am.

Thank You Heavenly Father, Thank you.

Ku ingatkan ......

2009-10-20T23:47:00.005+08:00

Ku ingatkan Kau akan berada di sisi Ku ......

Ku ingatkan Kau akan menolong tanpa apa jua ........

Ku ingatkan Kau akan menghulurkan tangan untuk menolong Ku ........

Ku ingatkan Kau akan mengharungi apa jua masalah Ku hadapi .......

Ku ingatkan .......

Ku ingatkan Kau lah orang yang Ku boleh harapkan......

Ku ingatkan Kau lah orang yang Ku boleh menganjakkan kaki bersama ke gerbang pintu Kebahagiaan.....

Ku ingatkan Kau lah orang yang Ku boleh mencurahkan segala-gala masalah yang Ku hadapi......

Ku ingatkan Kau lah orang yang Ku inginkan selama ini........

Ku ingatkan .......

Hati Ku yang ingatkan kesemua ini cuma Ku ingatkan .....

Hati Ku yang ingatkan ke pintu gerbang kebahagiaan cuma Ku boleh mimpikan ......

Hati Ku yang ingatkan Kau akan berada di sana untuk Ku tidak akan Ku kenangkan ......

Biarlah kesemua ini Ku pendamkan di dalam hati Ku ......

Biarlah kesemua ini Kau tidak tahu ......

Biarlah kesemua ini Ku mencari jalan penyelesaian tanpa kehadiran Mu ......

Biarlah .......

Loving me...

2009-05-16T00:50:00.019+08:00

I can see him,

Standing right there in front of me,

Expecting me to be there with him,

And telling me he can’t wait to see me....

He will hug n kiss me,

He will take care of me,

And he promise that he will always be there for me….

Telling me his certainty of loving me,

That he may walk the rest of his path happily,

Telling me is his path of loving me,

That he wants to walk through it with me forever....

And telling me he feels the peace of loving me,

That it will be his quiet satisfaction,

That he will made me happy,

And LOVE me well......

Apr 1,08 ~ Current update

2009-05-08T23:54:00.010+08:00

Hahaha............ was abandoning this blog for quite some time. Poor blog.... No worries, I am bbbbAAAccccckkKKK!!!! =) loll So first thing first, I need to feed this blog with what I am up to from the day I left this blog till the current up to date things. Ready blog??? hehe... Apr 1 ~ 26, 2008 Working life at HEM is a NIGHTMARE. The bloody FC there is damn bossy. She will check on you every single minute on what you are up to. WTH...... Yet this is not the best part, the best part is I am actually becoming her PA. I have been told to washed her cups N cleared off her out tray every morning. WTH..... She even asked me to stayed back even I have nothing to do. and with bunch of other things!!! Seriously, I really beh tahan with her..... So I quit!!! Apr 28, 08 ~ Current Working life with FJB is almost the same like HEM. Being working with FJB for a year plus. I have learned allots from this com... I have learned on how much I need to protect myself from been bully amongst your own team mates. I have learned on how to stay strong while your own superior pretended to know nothing and defending you from others. I have learned on how to stand out from the messed by others throwing on me. ************************************************************************************* I believe, He is molding me from all this to be a better person. I believe, He is telling me not to give up with this job. I believe, He is promoting me to another level of life with all this. N I believe He is telling me need not to be afraid from all this.... And I heard Him say :~

I am here with you....... Lead n guiding you through..... Don't be afraid, leave it to Me....... I will hold your hands through all this..... Have faith with Me.... I will surely be here with you gone through this...... Just stay with Me.......=)

so BLEEESSSEEEEDDDDDDDD(m@r'08)

2008-03-06T19:10:00.006+08:00

Well is Mar'08 already. Time just flies away very fast. Few things had happen this week. First of all is that I got a job offer by this Hotel Equatorial Management, as an Accounts Assistant. I was quite nervous actually when I went for the interview. I prayed to GOD for HIS wisdom and favor. Thank GOD, HE answers my prayer. Hahaha...... It didnt stop there, the HR manager immediately confirm me at the end of the interview. Plus with a HIGHER pay. OMG, cant believed. I AM SO BLESSSSSEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!! Actually, another company was quite keen to take me in. But too bad they only called me up after my interview with HEM. Well, this company is quite good actually. Even though is quite a small company, but I having lots of room to improve my accounting knowledge there. But of course the pay they offer is RM200 lower. Plus that place is not convenient for me to get any public transport. But is NEAR church and care group..... Haiz!!! Yet HEM is not that good as well. All though this place is quite convenient for me to travel from home to workplace but it is very far from church and care group. Another thing is that I have to work half a day on Saturday. And most importantly of all NO full set accounts for me to learn. Haizz.......... Anyway, I believed and trusted HIM that HE will provide me the BEST. As pastor Joshua said so. Haahahaha...... Last but not least, of course I would like to thank HIM for answering my prayer and blessed me that well. Thank you LORD. Amen.......

my dearest sis......

2008-02-26T10:37:00.004+08:00

Dear sis, If you are reading this blog, I would like to let you know that you are NOT ALONE. I truly know how the way you feel and the sadness that you going through now. For I have gone through it myself. I know you tried your very BEST to kept your feeling from others. But not me..... I can see and I can feel all the pain in your heart. And I understand that no matter how we tried to console you yet it won’t ease the pain in your heart. I know your leaving is the only way that you can run away from all this. But I would like to let you know that no matter, I will be there for you. A shoulder for you to lean on to shear your tear. A hug from me to warm you down. A smile from me to make you feel better. A joked from me to cheer you up. And most important of our sisterly love will be strongly there for you to keep you going. But then the love from GOD is the most powerful weapons and shield for you and me to go through everything. For where ever HIS love is there will be us.......... together. Love you, ~mOus!e~

A penny from GOD...

2008-02-19T09:02:00.030+08:00

Penny for your thoughts!!! Or would a nickel be better?

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc. This is the first time I’ve ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about.

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband’s employer’s home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband’s employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put i t in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

‘Look at it.’ He said. ‘Read what it says.’

She read the words ‘ United States of America ‘

‘No, not that; read further’

‘One cent?’

‘No, keep reading.’

‘In God we Trust?’

‘Yes!’ ‘And?’

‘And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin’.

Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a me ssage right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment.

I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, ‘In God We Trust,’ and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient...

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:

1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

That’s the whole gospel message simply stated.

Take 60 seconds give this a shot! Let’s just see if Satan stops this one.

All you do is -

1. Simply say a small prayer for the person who posted this, (Father God bless this person in whatever it is that you know he or she may be needing this day.)

2. Then copy and send it on to other people. Within hours people have prayed for you, and you caused a multitude of people to pray to God for other people ….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thought for the Day:

~If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

~If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

~He sends you flowers every spring.

~He sends you a sunrise every morning.

~Face it, friend - He is crazy about you! ~Send this to every ‘beautiful person’ you wish to bless. ~God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in…

~If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. ~God’s will not take you where His grace won’t protect you.

Friends.......

2008-02-06T10:27:00.000+08:00

I pour out my heart to each and everyone the same way. For friends are the place which i can call home. A comfort and safe place for me to hide n be myself. A place where i truly feel the loves. A place where i can feel my presence. A home which i hope i will get respect and recognition. A home that i can lay myself to rest. A place which i can trust them to pour out my pain and sorrow. A place where i can get strengh to move on my life. A place where i can share the laughter together. A place where i thought i found my true love. And most important of all, This is the place where i can withdraw myself from my past. Lead me to another path of my life. Teach me and guide me to the right path. Bless me with all the happiness which Lord claim to be mine. But..... Is time for me to move on. I no longer, was welcome into this place where i consider as home. People around me seems to ignoring me. There are those who tried to avoiding me too. Some doesnt like me to get involved with other people business. Some doesnt like me to side the others. There is and lots more to come in the ways. All this i will cherish....... buried it together with me on till the day i died.

speechless.........

2008-01-24T18:09:00.001+08:00

I was a bit sad and angry last nite..................... I reached home last nite at 8.30pm. The first thing I notice when I enter my room is that my towel is on the floor n the study table was so messy.............. I thought the maid just came today to clean up!!!! N what is all this............ My goodness!!!! I was sharing the room will my cousin brother daugther. She is 13 this year, n she dun wanna know a single things of how to keep the room CLEAN n TIDY!!!! Every time I asked her to clean up her messed all she will said she will do it later this n that....... the most fucking RUDE things she ever told me once is that "Why you want to bother....... this is my father's house. N this is MY ROOOOOOOMMMMMMMM. Is up to me to clean it up o not.........." I really can’t imagine how her house would look like in the future............. but I am pretty sure of 1 thing, that her mother-in-law will going to be very busy to clearing up her mess for her. N her husband to be will definitely regret to marry her. She saw my towel is on the floor, n she can IGNORE it n dun pick it up!!!!! What kind of attitude is this????? N the worse thing is, my auntie knows about it n she is siding her. I am really speechless........ Every time when she need me to help up she will always said "Even though it is not your stuff you still have to help up. Even if you saw something on the floor pick it up n put it back. Dun be selfish......" Okay, n what is this now...... She is helping by not picking up the things........ n this is not the first time yet it wun be last either. Sometimes, I feel really regret to move back in into this house...... When they need me I am important. But when they dun, I am just a pieces of shit to them. Seriously, I really don’t know how far I can stand all this.........

January 17, 2008

2008-01-17T08:20:00.000+08:00

Kinda wake up a bit early today ...... around 5+ in morning. Having a night out w bros and sis in Christ last nite. Try to get some presents to those January babies. Thank you LORD for giving us some idea to get those presents. Is kinda expensive tho those presents. But anyway, i dun mind to chip in more. Later, we all went to ss2 "wai sik kai" (sorry if it sound weird, i dun really know pinyin for Chinese). Reach home around 11.30pm. Was a bit "ng song" with my auntie . Get to know that she is actually scolding me for going out straight after work. Haiz...... i really dun know what to say..... when i am around in the house no 1 actually seem to appreciate my presence. When i am not around they are asking all sort of question ~ "where she go? ..... What she doing outside?....." Is not that i dun know that they do care for me. But is that if you really wanna know why dun you ask me directly. why do you all have to ask all kind of questions when i am not around? Is that really that difficult for you all to ask me directly? ............ Whatever, I wanna thank ET for the drink and once again fetching me home all the way from PJ to Cheras. Tho he stay at BU, and it takes 20mins per trip, he still fetch me home. Thank you very much........thank you for your blessing. Well is need to start work already, got to go....... so long for now. May GOD's favor surrounds us. Amen........

s@d but h@ppy @ the same time...........

2008-01-16T12:03:00.002+08:00

Was been shock by my fren nick at msn this morning. ~"Im single n available again"~ I was like ~ "wat the ....". Both of them seem okay no problem only @ the last meet up.... which is celebrating my belated birthday. Now juz a month plus both of them break up. I was kinda sad n shock to hear about this Anyway, beside the sad news i got another message from my beloved sis in christ for some brain exercise question early in the morning before work started. Kind of tricky.... but anyhow I manage to solved it. Tat means I am FULLY awaken. Not like Chris & ET ..... both blur blur fellow..... =P Since yesterday both of them non stop bullying me.... dunno why???? but kinda funny.... by bullying from them. Hei, hei, hei I am not insane but juz kinda funny with the way they bully me. I was laughing with wat they said ..... hhahahaa.... Well, have to continue with my work already. More on next time. Chaaaaoooozzz...... ~~~~~~"h@pPy wOrk!ng"~~~~~~

1st Blog of mOus!e.......

2008-01-14T14:17:00.000+08:00

This is my 1st blog here. Let’s start it with some intro. about me. I'm mousie ..... a 23yrs old young woman. Busy seeking GOD's will n of course my life. I'm juz an ordinary young woman (i wish i am so my life wouldnt be that miserable). Others may seem that I’m a happy go lucky, friendly, crazy n bubbling girl. Can join in n talk all sort of things from A~Z. But deep down in me I went through alotz of things which no one will ever believe. Let me tell u a story. N here goes my story ...... Back then in Nov 1984, in Hospital Besar Ipoh, Perak, a baby girl was born to a woman who does not married to a man officially. This baby girl surname was name under this man without knowing if he is her biological father. She was then staying with her so call mother in the first 2 months. But was ended up staying with her so call father elder sister then. Reason ~ her so call mother mother made she herself a deal with the "Ah Long"....... She grew up in a world, which she do not get love, respect n was been curse each n everyday. Since small she have been push around from 1 relatives to another. By the time she grew older, this little girl always wonders why she was been mistreated. But somehow she gets to know all the answers from her auntie. All her questions n wonder have been answer........ The pains the feelings and the sorrow at that that moment she will never forget. From that days onwards she tried n tried n tried her very best to stay STRONG n TOUGH to go on with her life. Till one day, she met this special one. He changes her life. She thought he love her. But all she get is lies n lies n more lies ...... n her life is back to square one. She even lives her life in fear for the hitting from this special one. Everyone around her asked her to leave this special one for he does not deserve my love to him. But she is rather stupid o what ever it is she stays on with this special one. And one day, she only knew that she herself to this special one is just a friend ....... a NORMAL friend!!!! Despite going all the up and down with this special one........ All she hopes is just a SIMPLE RECOGNATION from this special one(she never gets any from her family members).................. She turns to her senior colleague for advised and yet this senior colleague was telling her the same things ~ "leave him n start life anew". This senior colleague then brings her to church. Introduced someone which she does have never thought off..... Hallelujah!!!! Because of HIM this girl still stay STRONG n TOUGH...... Because of HIM this girl start her life ANEW....... Because of HIM this girl know no matter what happen, she still have HIM in her life to go through all the things.......... N because of HIM this girl know HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE her ........ Thank you LORD!!! Thank you very much.......... AMEN!!!